Magic Kingdom Skyway

The worst part of visiting Disney World (besides the herds of Brazilian teenage tour groups) is all the walking. One day of walking around the Magic Kingdom will have you wishing you were gellin’.

Gellin' like a felon

The genius that Walt Disney was, he found the perfect solution: a Skyway. Visitors to the Magic Kingdom could conveniently (wait in line for 15 minutes because it took forever to load) board a colorful pod suspended by one metal bar and glide atop the park, forgoing all the annoying walking normally necessary for the trek between Fantasyland and Tomorrowland.

Besides the fact that it would take about half the amount of time to walk it (thus burning off a few calories from all the food your cram down your cake-hole while on vacation at Disney), the feeling that at any second the car could disconnect from the cable suspended between each towering support and the nauseating up-and-down bouncing motion that occurred every time a new car left the station or surpassed a support, it was a GREAT ride.

I would include a photo of the actual pods, buckets, cars, whatever you want to call them, but all of the pictures I can find are from the ’70s.

There really isn’t much to say about the ride itself. It took you from Tomorrowland to Fantasyland. That’s it. It was cool (as long as you weren’t afraid of heights). It was convenient for families with small children. It’s gone now.

The station in Tomorrowland was only torn down a couple of years ago. Before that it served as a bathroom with a “forbidden” upstairs after the ride closed. I was actually quite fond of the building itself. I loved the little waterfall and I think it added to the aura of Tomorrowland as a whole.

There just aren't enough waterfalls at Disney anymore

The station in Fantasyland is still standing, a reminder of former childhood bliss. It still looks awesome sitting up on top of the little hill it is on. I always imagined that’s where the dwarves from Snow White lived.

A slap in the face to the building, it is now used for stroller parking, which, if I must complain about one thing at Disney now, it is the stroller parking. It is EVERYWHERE. Check that. Strollers are everywhere. There needs to be more strolling parking. Maybe they need multi-story automated stroller parking garages like you see in the movies for cars.

Your number one choice for prime stroller parking

In formation they look even more menacing

Alas, it seems as if all Skyways across the entire Disney World Parks spectrum have closed in an apparent attempt by Disney to help curb the obesity epidemic effecting (mostly America) the globe.

If walking from Tomorrowland to Fantasyland weren’t bad enough, the fact that the Strawberry Swirl is gone is thrown right in your face.